Blogger Questions: What if I get a mean/rude comment?
12October 29, 2018 by Kenneth Fisher
There is a fear that almost every blogger has to overcome. I’ll be honest, it pops up almost every time I hit schedule on a post.
What if my post sucks? What if someone tells me it sucks?
After 6 years of blogging, I finally got one! (Yes, I was excited about it, yes I’m weird.)
..another fear-based DBA post…..
And the commenter went on from there to explain how I was wrong, and not in an overly pleasant way. Now, this particular person did the same with another blogger and I have to admit, they were the bigger person than I. They thanked the commenter for their comment and moved on. I, on the other hand, explained why they were wrong and I was right. Which was kind of pointless. I mean the chances of them actually reading it was slim, and even if they did they wouldn’t pay any attention to what I said. So why respond? I felt better. Which I guess makes it not quite pointless, but even so.
Here’s the thing, negative comments happen. Mean comments happen. We have an awesome community though so negative/rude comments are pretty unusual. And if you do get one mention it on Twitter and chances are you’ll get lots of positive feedback. Mention it to me and I promise you’ll get some. That said, I’ll be honest, the comments I have the hardest time with are constructive criticism. It means I posted something wrong. I hate posting bad information. The goal is to disseminate useful information. Don’t get me wrong, I love constructive criticism. If I make a mistake I want someone to call me on it so no one else will follow the mistake.
I guess the conclusion I want to make here is that you shouldn’t let the fear of what other people think stop you. Do your best, share what you know, and walk away realizing that you’ve added to the community.
SQL Studies 
I have never minded someone posting something rude or controversial. Or even telling me that my mother wears combat boots 🙂 all I cared about was did they have something to back up their criticisms. In the case of database stuff, my mania has always been ANSI/ISO standards, Dr. Codd and mathematical principles. If you didn’t have an authoritative source to back up your opinion, then I wanted to see a proof.
Over the decades I’ve gotten hit a lot of times with corrections. Artemis Ward has a wonderful quote that “it ain’t so much what you don’t know what kills you as it is what you know that ain’t so that kills you!” 🙂 Always say “thank you for making me less experiment!, May I buy you a beer?”
Great comment! I’ve always felt that if something can be done politely it should be, but you’re right. The big thing is proof. Bring me proof, don’t just spout. I will say though that I’m a lot more likely to listen to someone if they can be polite about it.
I love corrections, but only when they’re given with good intent. My blog isn’t a platform for someone to demean me or take out their insecurities on me.
If someone can’t be a decent human while giving a correction, a beer is the last thing they’re getting from me. There are enough decent humans in the world with whom I’d like to share a beer 🍻
Exactly! I love comments, and I appreciate corrections but I believe in politeness above all and kindness whenever possible.
Out of curiosity, I now that women have a harder time being listened to by men, particularly(?) in IT. Does that translate to blogs as well? Or because it’s written do people tend to ignore who the author is?
In the ~15 years I’ve been tech blogging, I only recall one condescending comment and I ripped them a new one. Two people commented to applaud.
When it comes to IT, I generally don’t have issues with people not listening to me and those who are confrontational or condescending with me are confrontational or condescending with everyone.
I live in a nice SQL & PowerShell bubble, however. I know other people’s mileage varies.
And how abusive people can be on https://dba.stackexchange.com/ ….
I’d honestly consider that worse. Most of the people asking questions on Stackexchange are new to DBs or even computers in general. They have even less confidence(?)/ability to fight back(?) than the average blogger. I mean a blogger is typically making a statement. “This is what I know”. I poster on SE is specifically saying “This is what I DON’T know”
The ”thank you” is my weapon of choice. The commenter can then decide to see it as a genuine thank you for contributing with a fresh perspective (that can happen even with insensitive comments), or just a plain sarcastic retort.
However, I won’t waste time on debating an idiot on my blog.
Yea, that’s probably the route I should take. Unfortunately it’s just not in me for the most part 🙂 I feel a need to explain why someone is wrong.
You mean like this beauty, my most recent one: https://www.scarydba.com/2018/10/08/database-fundamentals-19-joins/#comment-152317
Generally, I ignore them. Sometimes I say thank you. Sometimes, not often, I might comment, usually with a bit of sarcasm. Most of the time, I just let the jerky comments stand there.
One time, and so far, only one, I did get a comment that, in my opinion, crossed the line. I deleted it. Done.
Oh yea, just like that. That is certainly a gem. I have a hard time ignoring stuff like that. Fortunately this was my first really obnoxious one and I haven’t gotten any that really cross that line. Oh well, more to look forward to I guess 🙂
I follow your blog because it’s basic. Some other blogs they have so many information in one post and they treat their readers like they were all experts. You know how to take your readers by the hand, thank you ScaryDBA.